Prophet Mohammed PBUH Said : If Anyone Favors His Wife Over His Mother

At the time of the Messenger of Allah Prophet Mohammed(PBUH), 

There was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in 

obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in 

charity. 

Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the 

Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and said, "My husband, Alqamah, 

is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Prophet Mohammed 

(PBUH), about his condition."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) sent for Ammar ibn Yasir, Suhaib 

and Bilal ibn Rabah, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have 

him repeat the Shahadah. They went to him and found him in the 

agony of death. They asked him to say, "La illaha illa Allah," but his 

tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told 

the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) that he was unable to repeat the 

Shahadah.

Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) asked, "Is either of his parents alive?"

He was told, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), his mother is, but she is 

very old."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) sent her a message that if it was 

convenient for her (if she was able to go out), she should come to him; 

otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet Mohammed 

(PBUH) would come to her.

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) messenger came to her and informed 

her of the Messenger of Allah's (saww) message. She said, "May my life 

be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!"

She stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet 

Mohammed (PBUH) and greeted him. The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)

returned her greeting and said to her, "Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, 

for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the 

situation concerning your son, Alqamah?"

She replied, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), he prays much, fasts a great deal, 

and spends a great amount in charity."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "And what about yourself?"

She said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), I am angry with him."

He said, "Why?"

She replied, "Messenger of Allah (saww), he has preferred his wife to me 

and has disobeyed me."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Umm Alqamah, surely your anger 

has prevented Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) then turned to Bilal ibn Rabah and said, 

"Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood."

She said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), what do you plan to do?"

 The Messenger of Allah (saww) replied, "I will burn him in front 

of your eyes."She said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), he is my son! 

My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!"

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Umm Alqamah, Allah's 

punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want Allah 

to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, 

the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of 

no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him!"

Thereupon she said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), I call upon Allah 

Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my 

witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Bilal, go to him and see whether 

he is now able to say, "La illaha illa Allah" or not. It may be that 

Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart."

Bilal ibn Rabah went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying,

"La illaha illa Allah."

Bilal ibn Rabah remarked, "It is surely true that while Alqamah's mother 

was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him

his tongue is freed."

Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) came to him 

and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed 

the funeral prayer for him and buried him. 

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) then stood by the side of his grave and 

said, "You company of Muhajirun (Emigrants) and Ansar (Helpers), 

if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and 

all the people curse him! Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) 

and his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and 

Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because 

Allah's pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah's anger consists 

in her anger."

We must always be respectful and obedient to our parents. However, 

we are not to obey them if they order us to disobey Allah and His 

Prophet of Allah (PBUH). Other than this, they deserve our utmost 

attention and respect.

"O our Lord! grant me protection and my parents and the believers 

on the day when the reckoning shall come to pass!"

 Noble Qur'an (14:41)

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be 

kind to parents. Whether one of both of them attain old age in your life, 

say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them

 in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, 

and say: `My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy even as they cherished me 

in childhood." 

(Holy Qur'an 17:23-24) 

                                         Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed