Prophet Mohammed PBUH Said : If Anyone Favors His Wife Over His Mother

At the time of the Messenger of Allah Prophet Mohammed(PBUH), 

There was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in 

obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in 

charity. 

Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the 

Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and said, "My husband, Alqamah, 

is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Prophet Mohammed 

(PBUH), about his condition."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) sent for Ammar ibn Yasir, Suhaib 

and Bilal ibn Rabah, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have 

him repeat the Shahadah. They went to him and found him in the 

agony of death. They asked him to say, "La illaha illa Allah," but his 

tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told 

the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) that he was unable to repeat the 

Shahadah.

Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) asked, "Is either of his parents alive?"

He was told, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), his mother is, but she is 

very old."

The Messenger of Allah (saww) sent her a message that if it was 

convenient for her (if she was able to go out), she should come to him; 

otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet Mohammed 

(PBUH) would come to her.

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) messenger came to her and informed 

her of the Messenger of Allah's (saww) message. She said, "May my life 

be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!"

She stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet 

Mohammed (PBUH) and greeted him. The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)

returned her greeting and said to her, "Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, 

for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the 

situation concerning your son, Alqamah?"

She replied, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), he prays much, fasts a great deal, 

and spends a great amount in charity."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "And what about yourself?"

She said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), I am angry with him."

He said, "Why?"

She replied, "Messenger of Allah (saww), he has preferred his wife to me 

and has disobeyed me."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Umm Alqamah, surely your anger 

has prevented Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) then turned to Bilal ibn Rabah and said, 

"Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood."

She said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), what do you plan to do?"

 The Messenger of Allah (saww) replied, "I will burn him in front 

of your eyes."She said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), he is my son! 

My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!"

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Umm Alqamah, Allah's 

punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want Allah 

to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, 

the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of 

no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him!"

Thereupon she said, "Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), I call upon Allah 

Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my 

witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah."

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said, "Bilal, go to him and see whether 

he is now able to say, "La illaha illa Allah" or not. It may be that 

Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart."

Bilal ibn Rabah went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying,

"La illaha illa Allah."

Bilal ibn Rabah remarked, "It is surely true that while Alqamah's mother 

was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him

his tongue is freed."

Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) came to him 

and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed 

the funeral prayer for him and buried him. 

The Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) then stood by the side of his grave and 

said, "You company of Muhajirun (Emigrants) and Ansar (Helpers), 

if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and 

all the people curse him! Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) 

and his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and 

Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because 

Allah's pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah's anger consists 

in her anger."

We must always be respectful and obedient to our parents. However, 

we are not to obey them if they order us to disobey Allah and His 

Prophet of Allah (PBUH). Other than this, they deserve our utmost 

attention and respect.

"O our Lord! grant me protection and my parents and the believers 

on the day when the reckoning shall come to pass!"

 Noble Qur'an (14:41)

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be 

kind to parents. Whether one of both of them attain old age in your life, 

say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them

 in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, 

and say: `My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy even as they cherished me 

in childhood." 

(Holy Qur'an 17:23-24) 

                                         Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed

How should we choose our friends according to Islam?

We should choose the friend that believes in and abide by our religion 
(Islam)And gives great respect to what Allah (SWT) and Prophet 
Muhammad (saw) Had ordered us. And we should stay away 
from the one who is not well mannered and gives no attention 
to what Islam is about or what pleases or displeases 

Allah (SWT), for he will surely affect us negatively. 

There is no good if the companion drowns us in sins and displeasing 
Allah (SWT). The bases for the actions of those who follow 
the evil ways are corrupt; their actions are built upon misguidance 
and deviation.

Good friends are those who share with their companions both 
happiness and sadness. If we share our feelings with the wrongdoers 
whose actions are worthless and based on corruption, then 
we are following the same ways and standards as they are doing, and 
we will end up being as corrupt as they are, and then we are in a 
big trouble, how can we face Allah's (SWT) dissatisfaction and displeasure? 

Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should 
befriend the righteous, yet treat the rest in a gracious and just manner. 
Staying at sufficient distance is necessary; yet treating everybody 
in a noble and kind manner is required.

The danger of having corrupt friends isn't confined to the worldly life. 

Such friendships produce repentance on the Day of Resurrection, too!

Allah (SWT), the Exalted says in the Noble Qur'an: 

"And (remember) the day when the unjust one shall bite his 
hands saying: O! Would that I had taken a way with 
the Messenger! O woe is me! Would that I had not taken 
such a one for a friend! Certainly he led me astray 

from the reminder after it had come to me;" 

(Surah Al-Furqan, 25:27-29)

The two main regrets on the day of judgement are 

(1) Not following Prophet Muhammad (saw) on the path of guidance 
and (2) Befriending a person who diverted one from the truth.

Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as) has said: 

"The felicity of this and the next world lie in two things: 

firstly, keeping secrets; and secondly, friendship with the good. 

And the miseries of this and the next world are summed up in 
two things: firstly,divulging secrets; and secondly, friendship 
with wicked persons."

So take heed before the inevitable day of judgement comes 
and we are reckoned for our acts. Allah (SWT), 

the Exalted says in the Noble Qur'an: 

"Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except 
al-Muttaqun (i.e. those who have Taqwa/Piety)." 
(Surah Az-Zukhruf, 43:67)

It is wise to choose moderation in dealing with friends. 
Excessive love and confidence in friends are unacceptable since it 
happens that a friend may change into an enemy and use the secrets 
that he had shown as weapons.

Allah (SWT), the Exalted says in the Noble Qur'an: 

"And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate 

in sin and aggression." (Surah Al-Maeda, 5:2)

Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as) said: 

"When you cherish someone you should cherish him moderately 
for he may be your enemy someday, and when you hate someone 
you should hate him moderately for he may be your 
friend someday." Also said: "If you intend to cut yourself off from 
a friend, leave some scope for him from your side by 

which he may resume friendship if it so occurs to him some day."

Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) said: 

"The secrets that you must show before your friends are 
only those through which your enemies cannot harm you, 
for a friend may change into an enemy."

Love in Islam

The Noble Qur'an says: "The believers are stronger in their love for Allah."  (Surah Al-Baqara, 2:165) According to Islamic teaching, the minimum expectation from believers is  that God should have the first place in their heart, in the sense that no  other love may override one's love for God; God should be  the highest and foremost object of love.  The Noble Qur'an says: Say: If your fathers and your sons and your brethren and your mates  and your kinsfolk and property which you have acquired, and  the slackness of trade which you fear and dwellings which you like,  are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His way,  then wait till Allah brings about His command: and  Allah does not guide the transgressing people.  (Surah Al-Tawba, 9:24) This verse clearly indicates that one's love for God has to be superior  to one's love for everything else that one may come to love in one's life.  This superiority shows itself when the love for God and for His religion  comes in conflict with one's love for one's personal belongings.  In this case, a believer should be able to sacrifice his personal  favourite things for the sake of God. For example, if God asks us  to give our lives to protect innocent lives or our territorial integrity  or the like, we should not let our love for this world or any  other distraction i.e. family, wealth, power, etc. prevent us from  striving in His way. And nothing should come into conflict with  our love for God.  The Noble Qur'an says: Allah has not made for any man two hearts in his (one) body.  (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:4) Imam Ali (as) would always spend time with his children.  Once he was sitting in his house with his young children.  Sayyida Zainab (sa) then asked, "Dear, father, do you love me?"  Imam Ali (as) said, "Yes, of course, my children are like a part of my heart".  On hearing this, she said, "You also love Allah (SWT).  How can two loves be in one heart of a true believer,  the love of Allah (SWT) and that of children?" Imam Ali (as) smiled and replied, "Love Allah (SWT) and  for the sake of His love, you love His creatures; children and fellow beings too.  I love you for the sake of Allah (SWT)." Hence love for God is the foundation of Islamic belief, the foundation  on which man is to establish the principles of his faith (Iman).  Hence with one heart one cannot choose two beloveds. Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (as) said once, "The heart is the sanctuary of God,  therefore do not settle therein anything but God." Hadith Qudsi says, "Neither [the vastness of] My earth, nor [that of]  My heaven can contain Me. Indeed it is the heart of the man of faith  which can contain Me." Urdu Couplet says: Kaba Kitna Khush Kismat Hai, Ke Yeh Allah (SWT)  Ka Ghar Hai, Lekin Is Mein Allah Nahi Rehta, Momin Kaba Se  Bhi Ziada Khush Kismat Hai, Jis Ke Dil Mein Allah (SWT) Rehta Hai. The history of Islam is full of memories of those who embodied  a sincere and overwhelming love for God and His religion.  One of those who full-heatedly devoted himself to Islam was Bilal al-Habashi,  a black slave. The pagans of Quraysh in Makkah subjected him to torture  asking him to mention names of their idols express his belief in them  and disbelieve in Islam. They tormented him under the burning Sun  by laying him on scorching sand and putting heavy rocks on his chest.  Abu Bakr, a rich companion (Sahabi) of Prophet Muhammad (saw),  was passing by when he heard the cry of Bilal. He went close and  advised him to hide his belief, but Bilal was not prepared to do so;  since "love was ever rebellious becomes deadly." Another example love for Islam is Imam Hussayn ibn Ali (sa), who said:  "Oh God, I have left the world in Your love. Am ready to make my children  orphans in Your love. My heart could not divert towards anybody but You.  Even if You cut my body into pieces in Your love." Courtesy: ezsoftech.com

Inspiring Story: What you sow, so you reap

The Holy Qur’an has also guided us on this subject. It says:

If you do good, you do good to yourselves. (Likewise) 

if you do evil, you do evil to yourselves 

[Holy Qur’an: Chapter 17, Verse 7]

One of the companions of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) 

was very fond of this verse of the Qur’an and used to recite it loudly 

and repeatedly wherever he went. 

A Jewish woman who had heard him once wanted to prove him wrong 

and thus make him disrespectful among his people.

She thought of a plan and prepared some sweets mixed with poison 

and sent them to him as a present. The man received the poisoned sweets 

and went out of the city with them. On the way, he met two men 

who were returning home from a long journey. 

They were very tired and hungry so he tried to help them. 

He offered them the sweets. Of course, he was not aware that 

they were secretly mixed with poison.

No sooner had the two travelers taken the sweets, 

they collapsed and died. When the news of their death reached Medina, 

the city where the Prophet resided,the man was arrested. 

He was brought in front of the Prophet and 

he related what had actually happened. 

The Jewish woman who had mixed poison with the sweets was also brought to

 the court of the Prophet. She was stunned to see the two dead bodies 

of the travelers there. They in fact turned out to be her own two sons 

who had gone away on a journey. She admitted of her evil intention 

before the Prophet and all the people present. Alas, 

the poison she had mixed in the sweets to kill the companion of 

 the Prophet had instead killed her own two sons.

Lessons from The Story: 

What an example of a tragic reaction to a bad action. 

It shows how one reaps what he sows.If we do good, 

we stand to gain a good reward. If we do bad, 

we should expect a bad outcome ultimately.

“Do as you would be done by” are the golden words of wisdom 

from the olden days. They teach us to do good to others

 in the same way as we like others to do good to us.